Notes from the woods

Sitting in woods, all I can hear is birds and water. Despite a little rainy weather we met a lot of (noisy) people on the way before we finally reached this calm place.

Clouds started tearing apart and Sun is sending us it’s greetings through tiny spaces between trees. It’s a bit cold, but very nice fresh air. Silence.

It’s the first day in a week when I don’t have a headache. I haven’t been thinking about anything else than this walk since we left the car. Just trees, nature, birds. And Ignác running around me.

I expected this year to be full of travels and it’s all different. Corona virus effected everyone. Till now I used to spend all of my money on trips not worrying about the future too much. Now I need to find a balance. This hard times showed me it’s essential to think about safety, so I won’t spend all for travels not, but I will save for them 🙂

For quite long now I have been focusing on how to stop being dependent on one employer and freelance the way it suits me. Now I have lost my main source of income which only supports my theory about not being dependent on one company.

Although there is another thing to worrying me, which many people find silly. I don’t see myself working for anyone in long term. If I do a job, I want to do it right. It means I think about it a lot.

That’s why 9-5 job never worked for me. I care about work being done, not looking into a screen in the office.

Recently I have been lucky enough to work for someone sharing the same values as me. I do part time job which just needs to be done and it needs to be done right. I know it will get better once I get confident with my task, but at the moment being new to it I spend a lot of time by working and even more thinking about it.

And that causes me headaches every day.

And this is not a question of the boss or kind of a company. They are all as nice as they can be to me. This is something what I am causing to myself.

And here my life deal comes. I don’t see myself working for anyone. I only see myself working WITH someone. Maybe this is not a right economical thinking but I think different than I used to.

As a freelancer I decided to apply only for jobs which are interesting for me and which I would enjoy doing. I don’t want to let myself be stressed and bored.

Because other than working, I see myself writing. I see myself spending time in nature with my dog, taking care of my mental health, having my mind free, being inspired and writing book. And I need my mind being able to do all that.

But here is where most of us stop. All we think is that first we must do that job for someone else, which pays our bills and then the rest. But how much time and energy we have left for the rest?

And what if I have some time and energy left, but no-one will care about my writing?

This is a question which I will never get the answer for until I write it right?

Do you believe I will overcome this phase and finish the book I started writing?


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