Attention


We are just celebrating three years anniversary with my boyfriend. We made a long exciting journey to get here. I am amazed how long has it been and through how many phases we went.

We skipped dating part, which most of the couples have at the beggining of their relationship to get to know each other. We met while traveling, so we traveled together, spent days and nights by getting to know us. This was very short period as then we were forced by life circumstances to spend two years of our relationship living on different continents, which I write more about in my free eBook.

And now here we are. It has been three years since we met, but for the first time we are celebrating personally together. Some people take time together for granted, but I know I can´t.  Nothing in our lifes is for granted.

When Raja moved from India to Prague I started having night mares being scared of him having to leave again. It was very strange and so from there I got into another absolutely new phase for me, which I call “Please, give me more attention.”

When we started living together, I had troubles to believe it´s real and I couldn´t get enough of our common time. Which I still fight with like I would need to catch up on what we missed.

Before we met, I used to live and travel all by myself. I needed my own space. Suddenly I got in absolutely different situation. I call for his attention to feel loved. I miss him when he is not home and I tend to call him to ask when he will come back.

I have fought with it a lot, but recently I got the best lesson from our dog. I believe that life brings us what we need and it brought me Ignác few weeks ago. I started feeling like he is a furry mirror of mine.

He was little shy when he moved in, but then he started trusting and loving us. I spend every day basically whole day with him. I gave him all my attention. He came from the shelter and I wanted to give him the love he deserves. And now? This little cutie became addicted on me and my attention for him. He is always ready in possition to get some cuddles, when I would move around the house, he will follow me (if he had Instagram, he would be the best follower) and when I sit down, he will sit next to me (or on me). I keep asking him “Can I go at least to the bathroom by myslelf?”. But of course he doesn´t understand. He doesn´t care where we are as long as he can be with me.

When I want him to wait somewhere for me he starts barking. Last time I was telling my friend how annoying it is and she told me: “Well, you also “bark” when Raja goes away!”. She was right. Same sad as I get when Raja is not home, same sad Ignác is when I leave him alone. I don´t leave him because I wouldn´t love him, I leave him, when I just can´t take him with me sometimes.

Same as when last time I pushed him down from the chair, when I wanted to have a breakfast without him putting his nose into my plate. It´s like Raja telling me: “Just let me have my dinner in piece and then we can talk.”. Such a hard reality.

I laugh how happily Ignác welcomes me at the door when I come home, but I am so happy to hear the sound of Raja´s keys in the locker as well.

But there is one way to make Ignác keep a distance – when I make my nails and open a nail polish remover. That´s the time he rather keeps the distance (as most of the guys hate this smell). It´s something like when a guy smells like a beer, then I also prefer to keep my side of the bed 🙂

We are a family and I will always love to spend time with my two-legs and four-legs love. What I realized is the fact, that I always prefer to go to show my love to Ignác while he is cute and calm lying somewhere down rather than when he barks calling for attention as that is not nice for anyone.

So I promise to you, Raja, that from now on I will also try to stop calling and barking, let you have your space to come at any time yourselves. But also please forgive me if I am impatient sometimes as there are days when I need love a bit more than other days and just cuddle me as I do to Ignác even if it means writing an article with one hand.

I love him and so I love you.

Happy anniversary!

 

I had to experience many different things, travel different places, so I could find myself. But then especially during my travels I met a lot of people, who used to tell me, that they admire my courage to go towards my dreams. And so I decided to stop keeping my story in a drawer and use it to inspire all these people to show them that they can do anything they want.
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