I am a writer of my own life
Some people describes me as a brave girl, who is not afraid to quit the job and go to India with her backpack. Although there is another thing behind. I am an ordinary woman, but I know who I am and I know what I want. I live the life fully, I explore the world, I live the life I am happy at.
I work from home, I work from cafés or during my travels. I can basically work from anywhere at any time. But it´s not only about that of course. I can wake up in the morning late, which I really appreciate as I am really not an early bird. Also I travel. Traveling is my life passion. When I enter the airport, butterflies in my stomach start flying, when I climb the mountains, my eyes tear with joy. And what is the most important for me is, that I am free to experience all that at any time I want.
Life under the pressure
But there was a long way to get here. I still remember the pressure I felt every morning, when I didn´t have a mood and time to think, what I am going to wear or what I am going to eat. I just put on some jeans and with circles under the eyes run hoping not to miss my tram as the day before. Everyday I would be late for work by one or five minutes. Everyday I thought about an excuse to tell my boss.
I hated winters in the office. I wouldn´t see a daylight for months. I used to get sick three or four times a year, because I would always catch something from my colleagues coughing around. I remember those fights in summer over the temperature of AC, which worked differently in every corner of the huge open space office. It was basically another winter. And then when I finally needed some break I would have to ask my boss for few days of holidays, which would barely be enough to recover from all that pressure.
I used to think, that this is it. This is the life I am supposed to live, that this is what I used to study for. I thought, that working at any time is only a privilege of high managers and long term traveling is only for lucky ones.
Time to find myself
I knew only short traveling, which always used to be my therapy. After a break up I stayed single after so many years. I felt alone, most of my friends were in relationship and I didn´t have anyone to spend my time with. I had a dream to go to Norway. We were supposed to go there the summer we broke up. Some of my friends said that next year they will go with me and when it was about to plan and pay, suddenly for some reason they couldn´t go this year but for sure next one. Like this I wasted three summers and the fourth one I finally decided to go alone. I suddenly remembered my time in Denmark, where I went to study for one semester. That was eyes opening time. The first biggest step I did myself. There I decided to spend Christmas alone in Copenhagen. I didn´t plan to go alone, but I again didn´t have anyone to go with. My friends were asking, how can I go alone and I said, that I will rather travel alone than sit alone in my room. And finally few years later this thought helped me to visit my dream Norway.
In a meantime I joined CrossFit community, which was a big step out of my comfort zone. I learnt to overcome myself every day. I learnt how non sense it is to compare myself with other people. I understood how important it is to be inspired. I also got my first tattoo and and I didn´t feel like I am not good enough to have one.
I had to experience many different things, travel different places, so I could find myself. Last stop of this journey was my two months of backpacking in India. I spent weeks dealing with my own shit, I was wandering around mountains, sleeping, reading a book, writing a diary and I haven´t seen a mirror the whole time. I didn´t think about people seeing me from outside at all. I kept changing three outfits depending on the weather. I freed myself from worrying about outside and I finally managed to see myself from inside. I got a chance to fully experience and listen to my mind and my feelings.
Slowly without me knowing yet I found myself. I found my soul and I found my soulmate. One day I met him on the trek. We walked side by side, when he asked me if I can imagine living in that isolated little house on the hill in front of us. In that moment I knew it´s him. I knew it´s the man I want to grow old with in the like that.
Why I decided to share my story
For many years I used to write a diary and especially during my travels, but I would never think about sharing my thoughts with anyone else. But then especially during my travels I met a lot of people, who used to tell me, that they admire my courage to go towards my dreams. That they would be scared to travel alone or build their own business. They also often told me, that they wouldn´t be strong enough to go through all I went to be with the love of my life. I heard about many dreams and at the same time about many fears.
And so I decided to stop keeping my story in a drawer and use it to inspire all these people to show them that they can do anything they want. For every person dream life means something else. As for me it means freedom to pack my bag and wander around the world anytime I want, for someone it can mean anything else. I don´t want to tell anyone that my life is the best for them. I want to inspire people to live the life they want.
I don´t have a guideline how to live your life. But I want to share how I live mine. I decided to share how I found myself, what I had to go through, how it felt and where I am on my journey now. Because I am not at the end. I never will. I wrote an e-book to tell you my story, to tell you how I felt ad that it´s nothing scary out there.